JarJarBlogs

No nonsense nonsense practically everyday and nothing Stars War related, promise, except '80s missile defense programs.

07 August 2006

Well, I've been a little busy...

*
It has been three days since I delivered any high quality mental diarrhea. But who are you to criticize? There are excuses as I have been a little busy. For starters dinosaur and shark relations have been suffering. In fact they are at an all time low and I could remain idle no longer, I had to step in. It took all my communicative faculties to reach an agreement suitable for both parties. Sharks can no longer eat dinosaurs, whales are okay though becuase they have tons of nutrients and hair for teeth (ew), and dinosaurs can no longer use their time machine to transport themselves into the future to fuck with sharks. Dinosaurs can comeback to the present only if it's to eat Osama "Been Hidin'" Bin Ladin. Win-Win-WIN.

Considering I speak neither shark nor dinosaur it was a pretty amazing feat and you're safer for it. I really could've used some help with this thing though. Considering they're both groups of big, ferocious animals and all. Oh well, whatev... it's cool in a "it's kind of fucked up, but it's cool" kind of way.

So after resolving that major crisis I took some time to practice my mind control and tried to compel Patrick Swayze not to speak in defense of Mel Gibson. Hollywood has no choice but to listen to such a commanding ethos, the same ethos that conveyed a world of pain to Jerry Oarback when he said to him: "No one lets babies sit there." So my efforts were for naught, but at least I tried. What did you do over the past three days to keep Patrick Swayze from speaking? Probably nothing. I just heard, according to The Hindustan Times, Jodie Foster just spoke up too, it's over. How am I ever supposed to take my place in the Lethal Weapon franchise now? That sucks. If you haven't seen Passion of Christ... don't! Treat that shit like The Titanic, which should be another movie you've never seen and never will.

So that's what I've been up to of late. Not too much, but at least it yielded all of three paragraphs for you to read. Awesome.

*this beautifully awesome portrait was appropriated from here, if you are cool you will buy as much of this guy's art as you can in your lifetime.

Oh, and this post is dedicated to Alison "Look at me, I'm 25 and full of Jive" Kothe to whom's party I was not able to make it this past weekend because of extenuating Shark/Dinosaur tensions, my bad girl.

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