JarJarBlogs

No nonsense nonsense practically everyday and nothing Stars War related, promise, except '80s missile defense programs.

01 September 2006

An Open Letter to Gregory "Eye-Sacks" Isaacs

How are you doing today? Good? Your eyes look irritated. You must be allergic to dust. I don't know what it is about your voice, but it reminds me of sex. I'm sure people tell you that all the time.

What is your favorite comfort food? I'm guessing it's something sweet or maybe fish head soup. I wish I knew more about you, but I'm guessing the sex voice thing covers most of the bases. I really like reggae, not just Bob Marley. Will you be coming to Texas anytime soon? I hope so.

Any big plans this weekend? It should be a nice long one. I bet you've got bitches pouring out of the faucet and shit. That's pretty tight, maybe a little tropical hootchie party complete with mangotinis and sand... nice.

What do you think of Shabba Ranks? What's he even up to these days? He's such a reggae poseur. Oops! You guys are probably friends. I mean, Jamaica isn't that big. He's got a funny face though and his voice doesn't remind me of sex. One thing's for sure: I bet you both hate Dave Matthews Band and that's cool.

We've got this thing in the States called R. Kelly. Basically it's this dude who pees on girls, sings urban operas in very literal terms, and so on. You and Shabba might get on real well with him, but I'm not so sure. If Shabba's not too busy maybe he could go over some tracks with R. Kelly all dancehall stylee. That would be cool. Did I mention I like reggae? For serious, I do, not just Dennis Brown and, well, you. Hey, it's been great writing this to you Mr. "Cool Ruler."

Hope we get up real soon, in the mean time just keep doing your thing...
All the best,
Adam.

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