A September to Remember, or See With Your Eyes AND Your Hands
Autumn will be here shortly. Can't wait? Well here are some things to do while you wait for the season that is best known as the season that killed aspiring poet John Keats. First up, watch that movie where the girl says to Keanu Reeves: "I will teach you within a month to love... please fuck my dog and let me die in peace."
Are you ready for some Football???!!!???
I sure hope so cuz. The season's been going on for three months now. The BC Lions are really zipping ahead, but don't count out the Winnipeg Bluebombers. One thing's for sure: Hamilton Tiger-Cats suck dick! September football is going to blow your mind.
Get your drink on!
Do you like drinks? Let's just go ahead and do it... I hearby proclaim The Chocotini the drink of this September. And why the fuck not? It's like a chocolate martini. You can put as much malt as you want in your liquor, I'll be getting sweet-wasted in style, bitch. I don't know why you refuse to enjoy your September.
Oh, what? You hungry? I've got even better news. You get your ass all chocotini wasted and now you all hungry? No problem, just head your ass down to the McDonald's. They've got what you need and it's the official restaurant of September.
Double cheeseburger? Check! Fish sandwich? Check! French fries? Check! Hot apple pie? Check! A hunger for affordable food and world domination? Maybe, just throw in some MackNuggetz and I'll do whatever you say!
Accept no imitations...